The Abyss
by IluvUchihas
Summary: This is whay happens when you have a ninja village, the loch ness monster, and angry final fantasy characters in a black hole under your bed! send reviews to see your favorite manga or anime characters!
1. chapter 1: nessie

_This is my first fanfic so pleeez R&R! _

_Disclaimer: I don't know if I can say this…i..Sob sob don't own..don't sob own..KINGDOM HEARTS! okay. I said it. Happy now? If I did own it though, I would be the new, beautiful, key blade master! mwah-hah-hah! I would beat the crap out of kairi! As you can see, I have issues with that girl…_

Chapter 1: nessie 

_Sora was standing in a field of beautiful flowers. The air was tainted with a beautiful smell. The most lovely scent he ever smelled._"_Sora…". Sora turned around. "Sor-aaa" . Heleaped toward the sound with his arms outstretched. He ran up and hugged…_A GIANT COOKIE!

"Wake up, sleepy head!"

"Nngh, five more minutes and I'll be a happy keyblade master," Sora mumbled still half asleep.

"I said, WAKE UP!" Kairi screamed.

"AAAHHH!' Sora jumped out of bed still hugging his drool covered pillow. "What the hell!"

"And stop making out with your pillow," Riku said as he strutted into the room

"Nice pants," Kairi commented sarcastically.

Riku walked over to the window and opened the blinds.

"Aarrgh! It burns!" Sora covered his face with his pillow.

When Sora recovered from the shock of his life, he looked over at Riku.

"Why _do_ you wear fishing pants?" he asked Riku.

"Why do _you _wear huge shoes?" he returned Sora's insult.

"Well…why is Kairi's head so big?" Sora said, out of ideas.

"You are dead!" Kairi screamed at Sora, as he cowered behind his pillow.

"Hey, why is everyone screaming? And Sora, why is your pillow covered in spit?" The three teens turned around to see Tidus sticking his head in the window.

"I…I thought is was a giant cookie." replied Sora embarrassed.

"You wanna sword fight?" asked Tidus.

Kairi was about to strangle sora when a beach ball hit her on the head.

"Owwww!" she growled, ready to attack the person who threw it.

"Oh, hi Tidus! Mornin' Wakka!" she chirped to the two boys in the window.

Sora looked at Riku, and he just shrugged.

"Sorry Kairi! But I didn't know that with a noggin the size of yours, it would hurt that much!" Wakka laughed and high-fived Tidus.

"I'm gonna KILL YOU!" she screamed at the two boys, as she pulled out a bazooka.

"Where'd she get that?" Sora asked Riku.

"Under your bed."

"Whaaa?" Sora stuck his head under the end of his bed.

"Nngh smiggle nyah-nyah!"

Suddenly, a shadow heartless poked it's head out from under the bed.

"Eat Keyblade, heartless! _Kurae!_" Sora screamed as he whacked the heartless with Kingdom Key.

"Damn!" exclaimed Kairi as she read the tag attached to the bazooka: AMMO SOLD SEPARATLEY.

"I'm gonna call the store and complain!" Kairi growled. She dialed the number for the store on Sora's room phone.

"Hello, you have reached the 'Store for Destructive Weapons' Hotline. Press one to order from our catalog. Press two to talk to our manger. Press three to hear the sound of a toilet being thrown off a cliff into a herd of bison."

Everyone was Kari, listening to the phone.

"Press three!" said Sora. "Three, three!"

"Yeah, press three!" exclaimed Riku.

Kairi glared at the two boys yelling and jumping up and down.

"Whaaat? I wanna see what happens!" Riku continued to whine.

"Wanna sword fight?" Tidus asked.

Meanwhile, Sora stuck his head back under the bed and began searching.

"Ow!" he shouted suddenly.

"What's wrong?"Riku questioned.

"Nessie bit me on the heaaaad…hmph!" Sora whined.

Riku stared at him in bewilderment.

"The Loch Ness Monster is under your bed?"

Water began seeping out from under the bed, and flooding Sora's room.

"No! You silly goose! Lake Loch Ness is under my bed!"


	2. chapter 2: eBay

Yay! Its time for chapter two! If it stinks, please tell me! And this chapter is as random as the first. In chapter 3, if I ever write another chapter, you'll find out what a toilet being thrown off a cliff into a herd of bison sounds like! Whoopee! Now, doesn't that sound like fun?

_Disclaimer: pleez don't make me say it again…I…don't own kh, or square. Oh crap! Now I'm gonna cry! But if I did own Square…okay! Now I'm happy! Happy happy thoughts!_

Chapter two: eBay 

Riku and Sora were sitting in front of Sora's computer buying useless stuff on eBay.

"It's 1:30 in the morning you guys! What the hell are you doing? Go to bed!" whined Kairi half asleep.

"Why? I just bought a pack of gum that was stolen from Ryan Seacrest," Riku said.

"This is fun!" said Sora."I just sold a really, really, long piece of cloth that I stole from Cloud's sword!"

"You stole a piece of cloth from a cloud?" asked Riku.

"Nooo! Cloud Strife! The guy with the ridiculously long sword," Sora explained.

"Where'd you get his sword?"

Suddenly, the boys heard a loud bump and a moan coming from under Sora's bed.

"Damn! A little help here?" came a muffled voice from beneath the bed.

"Sure!" answered Sora as he jumped out of his chair, and lifted up the bed. Out climbed none other than…Cloud Strife!

"Hey, have you guys seen my cloth? You know, the really really long one I wrap around my sword? I can't find it anywhere!" Cloud asked.

"Nope!" Sora chuckled.

"Crap!" yelled Cloud. "That wasn't mine! It was Sephiroths!"

"I thought you hated him," Sora asked suspiciously.

"Well, way back then, while we were still friends, he let me borrow it. Then after he decided to destroy the human race, he forgot about it, and didn't give it back!" Cloud explained.

"Just buy a new one on eBay!" Sora suggested.

"Okay! Just let me grab my laptop." Cloud jumped under the bed.

"Why is Cloud under your bed?" Riku asked, shocked.

"We made a deal!" said Sora.

"What kind of deal? You didn't sell him your soul or anything like that, did you?" asked Riku.

"Sora, you sold your soul to cloud? You're such a dumbass!" screamed Kairi.

"You sold your soul to who?" asked Cloud as he climbed out from under Sora's bed.

"I didn't sell my soul to anyone!" Sora yelled, now really annoyed. "Our deal was that Cloud got to stay in Loch Ness and I got to use his sword!"

"I bet you can't even lift his sword off the ground!" Riku taunted.

Sora just stuck out his toungue.

"And I got to see pictures of Kair- OoOow!" Cloud was cut off because Sora hit him in the head with a…shadow shuriken?

"Hey, that's mine!" Suddenly, a teenage boy wearing a hitai-ate ninja headband, jumped out from under Sora's bed.

"Uchiha Sasuke?" exclaimed Sora. "Where did you come from?"

"From under your bed," he said in an annoyed voice.

"Wrong fanfic, dude," Riku laughed.

"Duh! I know that you bonehead! I want my shuriken back!" he grumbled and grabbed the weapon away from Sora.

"Sasuke-kun!" they heard a female voice call.

"Oh gosh, it's my fan club. Gotta go!" Sasuke said and jumped back under Sora's bed.

"Who was that?" asked Kairi.

"Some guy from a manga-why are you still here!" Sora yelled.

"You really need to clean under your bed," Cloud commented.

"Don't you need to buy that cloth back?" asked Riku.

"I just did! For only $36.47!" Cloud announced proudly.

Sora walked up to cloud and held out his hand. "You owe me thirty-six dollars and forty-seven cents."

"You stole my cloth!" Cloud exclaimed.

"Yeah," Sora said.

"OK. Wanna smoothie?" Cloud asked.

"Yeah," Sora said and they both climbed back under the bed and went…well…I don't know, but I'll tell you in the next chapter.

Sora: My room isn't _that_ messy.

Riku: Uh, yeah it is.

IluvUchihas: It's my fanfic! I can make you do anything I want! You are under my control! Mwah-hahahahahaha…ok, I'm done.

Sora: Having a moment there?

IluvUchihas: Yeah.

Kairi: sniff sniff 

Sora: What's wrong?

Kairi: it's just that…this author is really mean…and obnoxious…AND A SHIST FACE DUMBASS BIZITCH!

Riku: O.o I didn't know kairi had such a colorful vocabulary.

Sora: I did.

Riku&IluvUchihas: (to sora) O.o

Sora:Whaaaaatt!

Soooo…anyhoo, now you all know(or should know) why my name is 'IluvUchihas'. Everybody should read Naruto!(which I also don't own)

It's the best manga in the world! And if u do..well…I don't care, sooo keep reading it. One more thing: I LOVE KINGDOM HEARTS! Im done. R )


	3. chapter 3: aaahh! its got me!

_Hey every body! It's time for chapter three! If you don't like my random stories, with no point at all, then you'll like this chapter cause my random streak is about to end and a story will develop! And more anime characters will pop up by request. So feel free 2 give me ideas! enjoy! _

**Chapter 3: When black holes attack!**

"_Snort gargle-gargle!" _Sora snored.

"Tee-hee!"

"Shut up."

"Okay."

Sora woke up to find Riku and three other people sitting at his computer.

"AaAaAahhh!" Sora yelled and jumped out of bed. "Whaaat are you doing, Riku?"

"Showing these guys how to use eBay," Riku replied sounding kind of distracted.

"Who's 'these guys'?" Sora quizzed.

"Leon, Aries, and Yuffie."

"I lost my headband," Yuffie said.

"Oooh, _lost_ it, right," Sora, said evilly to himself as he pulled her headband out of his pocket.

"Cloud! Can I borrow your laptop for a second?" Sora yelled with his head stuck under his bed.

"Sure, hold on a sec!"

Cloud lifted up the bed and stepped into Sora's room carrying two colorful drinks.

"Here's your smoothie, Sora!" he said and handed it to the boy. "And here's my strawberry daiquiri!"

"Hey, can I get a Corona with lime?" Leon asked.

"And I want a Pepsi!" Yuffie said.

"I'll have a diet cherry-vanilla caffeine-free Dr.Pepper. Thanks!" Aries said.

"Hey, hey! I'm not a walking bar!" Cloud complained. "Go get your own drinks!"

"Here!" Sora said as he climbed out from under the bed with an armful of drinks.

He handed a beer to Squall…

Leon: a_Hem_?

I mean to _Leon_, a Pepsi to Yuffie, and a very complicated Dr. Pepper to Aries (with an orange bendy straw).

"Hey!" Riku exclaimed. "What about me? Can I have a Sprite?"

"Oops! No more!" Sora replied as he crunched his own Sprite can on his forehead. "OoOow! That was the last one."

"What, am I just supposed to _sniff sniff _die of thirst?" Riku said faking a tear.

"Wait, I do have one more thing…" Sora turned around and searched under his bed.

Then he said in a high-pitched, sickeningly sweet voice, "A Juicy Juicefoew _you!_"

Riku mumbled something indecipherable, and grabbed the apple juice away from Sora.

"_Flu-sssssshhhh BOOM CRASH MoOoOoO! KA-BOOM!"_

"AaAaAahhh!" everybody jumped at least 3 feet in the air.

"What the in the seven hells was that!" Sora yelled.

Riku was so scared his juice shot out of his nose. "Apple juice smells different when it's actually in your nose than when you just sniff it."

"Huh?" Kairi asked, still on the phone tapping her foot impatiently. "Because you made me press 3, I have to call the store back. _Again!"_

"_mood swings," _Riku whispered to Sora.

"So?"

"You know..." Riku said making motions with his hands. "The monthly female thing…"

"OOOhh. I don't get it."

"You mean you're telling me you actually skipped health class?" Riku asked Sora.

"I really have no idea what you're talking about," Sora said innocently.

Riku put his arm around his shoulder and pushed Sora toward Kairi. "I think it's time you two had a little talk."

Kairi rested the phone on her shoulder. "Oh. You mean he doesn't know?"

"I'm not following, you guys. What are you talking about?" Sora whined.

Riku nodded his head.

Kairi led Sora into the other room and handed Riku the phone. A few minutes later he came back out, and his face was as pale as a ghost. The only thing he could say was, "Oh."

Suddenly, a loud, rumbling noise started coming from under the bed.

"I think a certain sea monster is hungry," Sora said and stuck his head under his bed. "Aaargh!" A strong force was pulling him in "HELP! THE BLACK HOLE IS SUCKING ME IN!"

"Aaaaaah! The darkness is back!" Riku screamed a high-pitched girly scream, turned around, and ran into a wall.

"Stop screaming Riku! Help me pull Sora out!" Kairi commanded as she struggled to pull out the struggling boy. Riku quickly recovered and ran over to help, but the black hole started to pull them in too!

"This sure brings back memories..." Sora's muffled voice came from beneath the bed.

"Sor! This is no time for flashbacks!" Kairi yelled but was cut off as she and Riku too became enveloped in darkness.

And so their adventure began…


	4. chapter 4: welcome to konoha!

_Heya! Chapter 4 iz in da house! Or computer. Or whatever. If you read/watch Naruto, then you'll know what's going on in this chap. If you don't then here's a tip: Konohagakure is 'the village hidden in the leaves', or the ninja village of Konoha, or whatever you want to call it. Sooooo have fun reading my weird fanfic! ; )_

**Chapter 4: Welcome to Konoha!**

Sora woke up with a huge headache. "Ugh. Where am I? Riku? Kairi?"

He was still engulfed in darkness. He tried to stand up, but then realized he was falling.

"OoOoWw! Riku! Could you land any harder?"

"Where's Sora?"

"Here I am!" Sora yelled as he landed on top of his friends. "Ooof!"

"Why is everyone falling on me today?" Kairi said with a laugh.

"I see you're feeling much better today." Riku commented as he climbed out from under Sora.

Sora looked like he was gonna barf. "Please don't talk about that in front of me."

"Sorry" Riku apologized. "So where are we?"

Kairi stood up and pointed toward a dirt road. "Look! A sign!"

The three teens ran over to a large wooden sign: WELCOME TO KONOHA

"Huh. I wonder what that means." Sora said as he scratched his head. "It sounds sorta familiar..."

"I think it's the name of that town over there," Rike answered and gestured toward the large town over the hill.

"Oh."

The small group walked through what looked like the town square. All around them were stores and shops, people selling stuff from carts, and restaurants.

"Oooh! Ramen! Lets get some ramen!" Sora squealed and started running toward a ramen shop.

"Not now." Kairi said as she looked around. "We have more important things to do, like find out how to get home." She lifted up her hand to shield her eyes from the sun.

"Kairi's right, for once," Riku laughed and Kairi punched him in the arm. "Lets look for a place to stay."

They started to head toward an inn, when a parade of girls cut hem off. They were all wearing the same t-shits and holding up signs that read: WE LOVE SASUKE.

"Hey, isn't he the guy who came out from under your bed, Sora?" Kairi asked and pointed toward Sasuke, who was trying to lose the girls by hiding in the boys restroom of a restaurant. But all the girls followed him in there.

"Aaaaaaah! The girls have invaded!" a boy screamed and ran out of the bathroom.

"Oooookay…that was strange." Kairi commented. "Lets check in at the inn."

Riku followed, grumbling something.

"What's with you?" Sora asked.

"How come I don't have my own fan club?"

"Oh, get over it!" Kairi cried. "Girls are always drooling all over you anyway."

That seemed to make him happy.

"Wait a sec!" Sora yelled. "If that was the same kid who came out from under my bed, then that's where we must be! Under my bed!"

"Duh!" Riku and Kairi yelled simultaneously.

_Meanwhile, in Spira…_

"Hey, Yuna!" the blonde girl shouted and ran up to her friend.

"What's wrong, Rikku?" Yuna asked.

"I can't find some of the dressphere's!"

"What!" Paine ran up. "How could you lose them!"

"I didn't do it on purrrrpose!" Rikku whined.

"It doesn't matter, we just need to get them back!" Yuna declared.

The sphere hunters started to walk back to their airship, the Celsius.

"You didn't by any chance lose the Gun Mage dressphere, did you?"

"Ummm…"

"Aaaaaargh!"

IluvUchihas: By the way, Riku, you do have your own fan club.

Riku: Realy!

Kairi: Yup. IluvUchihas started it

IluvUchihas: grin

Sora: Aaaaaww, how cute…wait, do I have a fan club?

IluvUchihas: Ummm…

Kairi: Now look! You made him cry!

IluvUchihas: Ooookey-dokey! Sooo R&R!

Sora: Waaaahh!

Riku:HAHa!


	5. chapter 5: whats wrong with riku?

_Chapter 5 is here! Im sooo happy! I got 5 reviews! Not counting the one I sent myself…so anyhoo, if u want to see your fav anime/manga characters, just send a review with your request! Hope u like my 'special' fanfic! _: P

**Chapter 5: What's wrong with Riku?**

"Aarrrggh! The darkness is back to get me!" Riku screamed in his sleep and started flailing about.

For the fourth time that night, Kairi reached over and turned on the lamp sitting on the nightstand next to the bed. She looked across the small room of the inn, where Riku was tossing and turning on the couch, mumbling something about darkness, and Sora was sleeping, and _snoring_, on the floor.

"Oooff! Dude, you needa lose some weight." He mumbled at Riku, who rolled off the couch and woke him up.

Riku finally woke up and was sitting in the corner in a fetal position.

"Aaaw, Wiku's scay-wud," Sora said in mockingly.

"Sora," Kairi said in a no-nonsense voice. "That's mean." She was now kneeling next to the shivering boy. "Riku, what's wrong?"

"The d-darkness is b-back," he stuttered.

"After he was possessed by Ansem, he became scarred for life!" Sora exclaimed. "At least _I _only got turned into a heartless."

Kairi's face started to turn bright red.

"And you _huuuugged _me," he said with an evil grin.

"Really?" Overhearing their conversation seemed to bring Riku out of shock.

"Shut up," Kairi mumbled.

"_You huuugged me, you huuugged me, la la-la la-la la_," Sora sang.

"I said SHUT UP! OR I"LL SHOVE YOUR KEYBLADE UP YOUR ASS!"

Kairi's sudden outburst made Sora jump six feet in the air. "Okay, geez..."

She calmed down and sat back down next to Riku. "Can I have a hug?" He asked, and stuck out his lip in a pout.

"EeEeEeWw!" Kairi shrieked and ran to the other side of the room. "No way! You pervert!"

"Come on! I know you want toooo…" he stood up and walked toward her with his arms outstretched.

"Eeew!" Suddenly, she pulled a short sword out from behind her and held it out in a threatening way toward Riku.

"Where'd she get that?" Sora asked, confused. "Hey, wait! That's my sword from awakening! Gimme!"

He lunged toward the sword.

"Hey! You two have keyblades! I need a weapon too!"

The boys were now fighting over whose keyblade was better.

"Liongate!" Riku yelled.

"Kingdom Key!" Sora yelled back.

"Liongate!"

"Three Wishes!"

"Liongate!"

"Metal Chocobo!"

"Liongate!"

"Jungle King, Lady Luck, Oblivion, and Olympia!"

"How many different keyblades do you have, Sora?" Riku questioned.

"I dunno. Lets go back to sleep," Sora said and yawned.

"Sora, for once, I agree with you," Riku said and lay back down on the couch.

Kairi got into bed and turned off the lights.

"_Liongate."_

"_Fairy Harp."_

"_Liongate."_

"Will you guys shut up!" Kairi screamed.

All was silent…for about five seconds.

"_Ultima weapon."_

"I'M GONNA SHOVE YOUR KEYBLADE DOWN YOUR THROAT!"

"Which one?" Sora said with an evil laugh.

"ALL OF THEM!"

_Meanwhile, in Spira…_

Paine got pissed off at Buddy, the guy who was driving the air ship, the Celsius. Now she was trying to track down Sora.

"Where is that little runt…?" She grumbled angrily.

"I can't believe he stole our spheres!" Yuna exclaimed.

"Well, its not like it's my fault," Rikku said.

"YES IT IS!"

_Yeah, I know, this chap is short. I need more ideas so don't hesitate to review! Seriously. My sources (my brothers) are starting to run dry. As Uncle Sam would say:_ I need YOU to send me reviews! pointy finger_ Peace out!_


	6. chapter 6: whats your middle name?

_Heya! Seriously, I need ideas. I know some of u people out there reading this have good ideas, so please tell me! Don't forget to request your favorite anime characters! Anyone could be under Sora's bed! And for all of you out there who don't know that Squall and Leon are the same person... well, they're the same person! Enjoy!_

**Chapter 6: What's your middle name?**

The Third District of Traverse Town was quiet on this particular day. People either were shopping in the Second District, or running errands in the First District. Plus, Squall…I mean Leon, and his friends were really the only ones living in the Third District.

_BOOM! CRASH!_ AAAAHHH!

Leon jumped about 6 feet in the air.

"What in the seven hells was that?"

"Uggh, a little help here?" came a distressed voice from outside the doors of the third district.

Squall ran over from his usual thinking spot on the railing, and opened the door to let the visitor in.

He pulled open the gate, and in fell none other than…ANSEM! No, just kidding! It was …Cloud Strife!

"Oh. It's you." Leon said and opened the door a little wider to let the bruised man in.

"Ow. Some people here are so stereotypical! Just because I'm wearing some armor, and carrying a 5 foot sword, they think I'm a Communist invader, and that they can throw barrels at me!" Cloud complained.

"Whatever." Leon obviously wasn't very fond of Cloud.

"Stupid Final Fantasy 7 people..." he mumbled to himself.

"What was that?" Cloud said now face to face with Leon.

"Grrrrr…"

"Hey, guys!" Yuffie cried cheerfully.

"Hey Yuffie!" Cloud waved and walked over to the girl ninja. "Did ya' buy that new shuriken?"

"No. It was too expensive." She answered.

Leon was now getting jealous.

"Hey peeplz!" Aerith called to her friends. "Oh. It's Cloud." She commented, obviously unhappy about their visitor. She joined Leon on the other side of the stairs, _away_ from Cloud.

"Hey, Aeris!" Cloud had just noticed her. "Howzit going ?"

"My name is _Aerith_, now," she said coldly.

"Okay. I see you've teamed up with Squall."

"My name is _Leon_." Leon retorted.

"Geez, is everybody changing their names these days?" Cloud questioned and scratched his head. "So, howzit going in FF8 world?"

"My home is Hollow Bastion, well, at least it used to be," Squall said with his head down, not looking Cloud in the eyes.

"Aerith, are you okay? You're acting a little off. I think I'm sensing some PMS," Cloud commented.

Aerith had had it. She jumped up and stomped over to Cloud. "Cloud Francis Strife! Are you telling me you forgot about what you caused to happed to me!"

"Huh? My middle name isn't Francis." Cloud answered confused.

"Oh. But it does sound familiar…don't you change the subject!" She stabbed an accusing finger toward the frightened man.

"Oooh. You mean the whole thing with Sephiroth…and the sword…and the lake..." Cloud said gesturing with his hands.

"YES! Because of YOU, SEPHIROTH stabbed ME in the BACK! And then YOU put ME in a LAKE!" Aerith was now outraged.

"_PMS_," Cloud leaned over and whispered to Squall. "By the way, who's middle name is Francis?"

"_Ahem_…um…uh, that would be me," Leon said very quietly.

"Hahaha! Francis!" Yuffie was laughing so hard she was crying. "Squall Francis Leonhart! What kind of name is that! Hahahaha!"

"Yuffie…"Leon said with an evil grin.

"No! You wouldn't!" Yuffie's expression changed dramatically.

"Oh, I would."

"I'm not following," Cloud said to Aerith.

"Me neither."

Yuffie couldn't suppress her laughter any longer. "Tch…Hahahahaha! Francis! Haha-"

"Yuffie Beatrice!" Leon yelled.

Yuffie stopped laughing. "Well…Cloud Bernard!"

Cloud's face turned grim. " Aerith Doris!"

"Hey!" Aerith yelled. "I have no one to make fun of!"

"My middle name's Tom."

"Thanks," Cloud said sarcastically. "That makes us feel a whole lot better, Sephiro- SEPHIROTH!"

"SEPHIROTH!" Everybody else screamed simutaniously.

"You guys are really slow. I've been sitting here for the past ten minutes, watching you guy's fight! People would pay to see this!" Sephiroth laughed.

"You asshole…" Aerith's face turned bright red. "I gonna kill…"

"Hey! Aerith, calm down." Squall said and grabbed her arm and held her back.

"Why are you here, anyway?" Cloud asked suspiciously.

"Oh. I came to burn down Traverse Town."

"WHAT!"

"You heard me. Since I burned that other town in Final Fantasy 7 world, they would know it was me if I did it again!" Sephiroth said.

"But why Traverse? Why not Wonderland, or Agrabah?" Leon whined.

"Because, it's the only real town."

"What about Halloween Town?"

"Too creepy."

"How about…New York?" Yuffie asked hoefully.

"Nah, to city-ish."

"Why here? You could have easily burned down another town!" Aerith exclaimed.

"Well, you were all living here." Sephiroth said. "And I wanted to get revenge on Cloud."

"Huh? What did I do?" Cloud asked defensively.

"Cloud Francis Strife! Are you telling me that you forgot..." Sephiroth started.

"MY MIDDLE NAME ISN'T FRANCIS!" Cloud was now really pissed off.

They all started yelling.

"Will you conflabbed kids stop your screamin'!" and old man yelled out of his window.

"Why don't you!" Yuffie screamed back.

"Damn kids! Have no manners nowadays.." the old man mumbled.

"Well, I've got a town to burn!" Sephiroth said and walked away.

**_Will Leon, Cloud, Yuffie, and Aerith ever be able to stop Sephiroth? Why does everyone keep calling Cloud, Francis? Why do my feet smell? To find out, keep reading… The Abyss! _**

_Yadaya..i don't own kh…blah blah. Okay. Watch out for chapter 7! And no offense to people with the names Francis, Beatrice, Doris, or Bernard. So please review!_


	7. chapter 7: Sit, Boy!

_Heya! Chapter 7! Woohoo, woo hoo! I still need ideas, (thanks, tolea!) and I only got one anime request. So don't forget to send me requests! Thanks! Peace out._

_Disclaimer: blah blah blah. U all know I don't own kh, or square, but I wish I did and if I discuss this any further I will burst into tears and start plotting my attempt to buy Square Enix. I also don't own any of the anime characters is this chap and if I told u who they were I would give the story away._

**Chapter 7: Sit, boy!**

"Are you sure you know where you're going, Kairi? Let me see the map. Is it upside down? I think it's upside down. I think we're lost. Which way is north? I think we should head north. Or maybe south. I have to piss. Do you know…?"

"Sora!" Kairi screamed. "Will you shut up and chill out! I _do _know where we're going, and how can we be lost anyway? We're in the middle of the park!"

"Chillax. She has a point, Sora," Riku agreed. She did, too. The three teens were in the center of Konoha City Park. And Sora was convinced they were lost.

"Get away from me!" a far-off sounding voice yelled.

"What was that?" Kairi asked and turned in a circle trying to hear where the sound came from.

"Come back!"

"Did you guys hear that, too? Or am I just crazy?" Sora asked.

"I think he's crazy," Riku muttered to Kairi, and she just chuckled.

Sora ran over to a cluster of bushes, and pushed his way through. Beyond the brush, there was a large clearing. Sitting in a tree near the edge was a young man in a red robe, and a girl in a Japanese school uniform jumping up and down.

"Get down here right now!" the girl screamed.

"Bug off, you useless little wench!" the young man screamed.

"Hey, are you guys okay? I can hear you screaming from the other side of the park!" Sora said to the two people buy the tree.

"What do you want?" The girl yelled at Sora.

The boy jumped down from his spot in the tree. "Whatever happened…it was all Kagome's fault!" he yelled and pointed at the girl.

"Hah! I gotcha!" she yelled and lunged at the young man.

"Uh-uh-uuuhh!" he said with an evil grin and jumped back up in the tree.

"Don't make me…" the girl said in a threatening voice.

"Don't you dare!"

"…Inuyasha! Sit, boy!" the girl yelled at the man.

"Aaaarrgh!" The beads around his neck seemed to react to what she said, and the young man fell face-first into the ground, pulled by the necklace.

Sora and Riku couldn't help themselves, and fell to ground with laughter.

Kairi glared at the two boys rolling around on the ground clutching their stomachs. "You are sooo immature."

Meanwhile, the girl, who Kairi guessed was Kagome, according to the man's accusation, and the man, who was called Inuyasha, were arguing again.

Sora regained self-control and stood up and wiped the tears from his eyes. "I think we should leave you two lovebirds alone." He said and turned on his heel.

"WE ARE NOT IN LOVE!" Kagome and Inuyasha screamed simultaneously.

"Ooookay. Whatever you say," Riku said sarcastically and followed Sora.

"It is kinda obvious," Kairi commented. "By the way you two were at each other's throats arguing…."

"I'da thunk you'd wanna be sticking something else down each others throat," Sora interrupted with a laugh. Riku was facing with his back towards them hugging himself, pretending to make out with an imaginary person.

"EeEeWwWwW!" Inuyasha, Kagome, and Kairi screamed at once.

"You two are so perverted!" Kairi screamed. "Ew! Riku! You're such a fag!"

The group of kids walked out of the clearing leaving Inu and Kagome's screams in the background.

"An not!" Riku defended. "I had a girlfriend in seventh grade!"

"And it turned out 'she' was a boy!" Sora laughed. "Man-lady!"

"Hey Riku, you said you had a girlfriend in seventh grade. That was like, three years ago!" Kairi exclaimed.

"Nu-uh. The game was made in 2002, and now it's 2005, so that means…"Riku thought out loud.

"I was 14 when the game was made, and Sora was too. You were fifteen..." Kairi scratched her head.

"Add the number of years between '02 and '05, that means," Sora said. "…I'm 42!"

"What! Sora! Can you even add?" Kairi yelled. "You were like, 25 off."

"You're right, I miss-calculated…57!" He screamed.

"No!" Riku was fed up." You're a fricking retard! You're seventeen, and I'm eighteen."

"Hah! You haven't had a girlfriend in six years!" Kairi laughed and Sora started rolling around on the ground with tears in his eyes.

"What about Kairi!" Riku said with an evil grin.

"What _about _Kairi?" Sora immediately stopped laughing and stood defensively in front of Kairi.

"Um, Sor, there's something you should know…"

"I dated Kairi for seven months!" Riku yelled.

"WhAaAat! And you never told me!"

"No." Kairi said. "It wasn't seven months…"

"Good." Sora sighed with relief.

"It was six months, three weeks, two days, and fifteen hours." She said quietly.

"WHAAAAT? You counted the hours!"

"Oh, Soraaa. You're still my little moogle-poo!" She said and embraced him in a hug.

"Ew. Go get a room." Riku grimaced and turned away.

"Fine!" Sora yelled, really peeved. "We will get a room!"

"Ew!" Kairi squealed and pushed Sora away.

"But it won't be as nice as the one Kairi and I stayed in," Riku grinned evilly.

"OH MY GAWD! YOU TWO 'got a room'! I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST AN EXPRESION! KAIRI'S NOT A VIRG-" Sora exclaimed.

"Ew! Of course I am! I can't believe you would think that!" Kairi looked like she was going to puke and cry at the same time.

"Okay! Lets drop it before someone gets hurt!" Riku said and pushed away Sora who looked like he was going to strangle him.

After walking for about ten minutes, they reached a metal archway, signaling the exit/entrance of the park.

"We're alive!" Sora cried and hugged Riku.

"He gets over things fast," Riku muttered to Kairi and pushed Sora back.

"What's this?" Kairi was examining a wooden sign next to a swirling black vortex in mid-air.

:_TO TRAVERSE TOWN_

"Wait a sec!" Sora yelled, but was cut off as they were sucked in! Aarrrrgh!

Will Sora and company really get to Traverse Town? Will Sora ever learn to add? Is Cloud's middle name really Francis, or Bernard? Why did Riku date a boy? You won't find the answer to half of these in the next chapter, but read it anyway!

_Whoa, I can write a lot in fifteen minutes. Read the next chapters! Why? Because I said so! And one day, I will own square, and you will be like "I wish I read her awesome fan fiction" and Ill be like, "Hah-hah! Too bad!" so just read it! lol_


	8. Chapter 8: girlyman!

_Yay! Chapter 8 includes my first anime/manga request! Inu was just in chapter 7 because I was bored. Lets see how much I can write in 10 minutes! Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: do I really have to say it? I should just cut and paste from the other chaps…sigh fine! I don't own kh, or any of the anime characters in this chapter... yada-yada, u get the point, right?_

**Chapter 8: Girly-man**

Once again, Sora had gotten himself sucked into a big black hole. But this time, it supposedly was taking him to Traverse Town.

"Helll-ooooo? Riku? Are you still there?"

"YES! I've been here the first 2 million times that you asked that question, too!" the boy yelled at his friend somewhere in the dark.

"Do you know when we're gonna stop falling?" Sora asked.

"NO!"

"I do. Right about…now!" Sora said just as he fell through a big hole in the sky, into the First District of Traverse Town. Riku landed on his feet, but Sora fell on his but and started to whimper, rolling around hugging and his stomach.

Riku glared at his 'special' friend in annoyance. "Get up, you pansy!"

"But…sniff my, t-tushie hurts!" Sora whimpered.

"Geez! It took you long enough!"

The two boys turned their attention to Kairi, who was leaning up against a small tree, making a necklace of thalassa shells. "Don't tell me you didn't see the elevator?" She laughed superiorly.

"WHAT! There was an ELEVATOR!" Riku exploded.

"Duh. Since I was the last one to jump into the hole, I took a minute to look around. No more than 3 feet away from the hole, was a teleporting elevator," Kairi explained.

Riku was about to kick Sora in the head, when he jumped up off the ground.

"I have an idea!" Sora exclaimed. "Lets g-" But he was cut off when Kairi tackled him.

"Sora! Watch out!" she screamed as a small pink creature just barely missed his head.

"What in the seven hells was that!"

A large group of shadows started to creep toward Sora. He whipped out Lionheart, and Kairi pulled out her sword. But the shadows suddenly changed direction, and started to chase Riku.

"Run for your lives!" The fat man standing buy the accessory shop screamed, and everybody ran for cover.

"Argh!" Riku yelled.

Sora spun around, to see the strange heartless take shape. They looked like shadow heartless, except they were hot pink, with curls of blond hair instead of antennas, and were carrying small bags.

"Eeew!" Sora screeched. "Girly heartless!" Kairi whacked him in the head.

The heartless now had totally engulfed poor Riku, and in a puff of pink smoke, he reappeared.

"Arghh! It burns!" Sora cried and covered his eyes.

Kairi just stared in shock.

A nearby moogle laughed itself unconscious.

Riku looked like a girl! He was wearing a tight sky-blue tank top, a bright orange skirt, and matching sparkly purple headband and sandals. He didn't look too happy.

Sora and Kairi turned to each other then joined the moogle in themselves into a coma.

"Shut up!" Riku cried. "It's not funny!"

"Haha-Yes it is!" Sora laughed.

Riku tore of his shirt in anger. Then he pulled out his keyblade and charged at the pinkish heartless. "Arrrgh!"

One by one, the heartless were terminated.

"Oooh!" Kairi squealed at Sora. "He took off his shirt! He's hot…"

"I know!" Sora giggled in a girlish tone. "He has like, a six pack!"

"Sora, that's just wrong…" Kairi backed away frightened.

By this time, Riku had obliterated all the heartless. He stomped over to Sora and grabbed his clothes that were in a pile next to them. He stomped toward the alleyway. "I'm changing my clothes," he grumbled angrily.

After a few minutes, Riku returned dressed in his normal attire.

"As I was saying," Sora continued. "We should go to my place."

"You have a house here?" Kairi asked confused.

"Nah. Its just a little room on top of the accessory shop." Sora explained and gestured for his friends to follow him toward the shop. They walked up the steps and stopped outside a wooden door.

"Behold!" Sora said dramatically and threw open the door. "My home away from home."

The Item Synthesis shop had been converted into what looked like a small motel room. And a really nice one, too. The walls were painted a dark blue, and a rug covered most of the hardwood floor. In one corner was a loft bed, and underneath it were a desk and a long dresser. Across the room was an entertainment system with a plasma-screen TV, a PS2, X-box 360, Gamecube, and Sega Dreamcast system. Along with every single game or DVD that you could imagine. In another corner was a small counter will a sink and stove-top oven, a microwave, and a fridge.

"Whoa," Riku replied, astounded. "This is even better than your room on the Destiny Islands."

"I know," Sora agreed and jumped into the red leather recliner conveniently placed right in front of the TV.

"What's that noise?" Kairi questioned and walked toward the closet. She opened the door and about 5 moogles fell out in a laughing pile.

"Uh, Sora? I think your moogle are drunk!" Kairi yelled across the room.

"Oh, I know. They get together and drink every Thursday night."

Kairi gave the strange creatures a shove back into the closet and locked the door, relieved.

"I think we're safe for now, Sor," She turned around to see Sora asleep in his chair and Riku was snoozing in the bed.

"Wait a minute, where do I sleep!"

The next day, Kairi woke up with a sore back. She nagged the boys until they reluctantly woke up and agreed to be dragged to the café. The small group sat down at one of the small tables. In a few minutes, a moogle wearing a bow tie came to take their order.

"I want a cup of black coffee," Riku mumbled sleepily.

"Decaf?" The moogle asked.

"No. Lots of caffeine," Riku replied and Sora and Kairi grimaced.

Sora got ordered an egg and cheese omelet with blueberries, maple syrup, ketchup, tomato sauce, and Caesar dressing. Now it was Riku's turn to make a face. Kairi didn't feel like eating anymore, after she heard the boy's orders. While they waited for their food, Sora amused himself by attempting to blow out the special moogle-made candles.

Riku sighed. "He has such a short attention span at the age of seventeen."

"Hey, I'm not 17, I'm 42!" Sora pouted and crossed his arms, and Kairi put her face in her hands and groaned.

"I didn't know you had such mature friends, Riku," a boys voice came from behind them.

Riku turned around. "Kenshin!" He exclaimed and gave the boy a high-five.

Sora and Kairi just stared, confused. Actually, Sora was still trying to blow out the candle.

"This is my friend, Kenshin, from summer camp." Riku explained.

"Yeah, the one with the schizophrenic counselor." Kenshin laughed.

"What kind of name is Camp 'Wagga-doogu Nikelchug?" Riku laughed at the name.

"No, it was Camp 'Hokey-pokey waddleduck.'" Kenshin corrected.

"Wait, I think it was camp 'Wunna-hocka luggie."

"Or maybe-"

"We don't care! I just want to eat my egg and cheese, blueberry, maple syrup, ketchup, and Caesar omelet in peace!" Sora cried.

"Ew." Everyone said simultaneously.

_Yeah, this chap would've had more but if it did it'd be like 10 pages long so look out for chapter 9! Thanks for reading!_


	9. Chapter 9: bloody sword

_Hm, I wonder how an egg and cheese and tomato and maple syrup omelet would taste? Ew. Never mind. This is another chapter with the FF characters. And really hot FF guys! Cough-squall-cough-cloud-cough cough Woops. Having a coughing fit. Hahaha. By the way, if anyone wants to join the "We Love Riku Fan Club", e-mail me at I know. I'm such a dork. Plus, don't forget to request your favorite manga or anime characters. Thanks for reading!_

Chapter 9: Bloody sword 

"I can't believe he's actually going to burn Traverse Town!" Cloud was pacing back and forth in front of the Small House. Yuffie was reading her "Shinobi Weekly" magazine, and Leon and Aerith were glaring at him angrily.

"He can't do that! What did I ever do to him! Okay, don't answer that. But I wasn't the one who decided he was better than everyone else and to destroy the human race!" he was now really peeved.

"Who cares?" Squall commented. "We can always go back to Hollow Bastion."

"You can!" Cloud yelled. "You and the 'We hate Cloud' club can, but I can't! I don't have any other homes!"

"What about the Coliseum?" Yuffie suggested, and turned the page.

"Hades is pissed because I broke off the deal, and he'll set my ass on fire."

"Deep Jungle?"

"The monkeys hate me."

"Neverland?"

"Nah. I think Peter Pan might be gay."

Everyone gave him a weird look.

Cloud turned toward Aerith, but she angrily looked away. Cloud felt really hurt. _I guess i really made her mad this time_, he thought to himself.

"Aerith," Cloud had decided it was time to apologize. He walked toward her but Leon started to stand up.

"Squall," Yuffie said threateningly and he sat back down.

"I'm really sorry," Cloud said put his hand on her shoulder. "I didn't mean for any of that to happen. Really, i forgot your fear of water."

Aerith jumped up and glared at Cloud. Then she looked at Yuffie and grinned. Yuffie smiled back, then they both started to laugh hysterically.

"Oh, Cloud!" Aerith cried and embraced him in a hug. "I could never stay mad at you."

Cloud looked over her shoulder at Yuffie, and sighed with relief.

"So, Aerith, how did you survive after getting stabbed in the back and then dropped in a lake?" Yuffie questioned.

"Eh. Who knows? But while I was down there, after I became conscious, I saw this really gross bloody sword down there. Whenever I think about it, it gives me the chills." Aerith shivered then walked over to Yuffie to help her decide which set of num-chucks to buy.

Cloud walked over to Squall who was still sitting on the wall, glaring angrily at the ground.

"So, I see you decided to grow out your hair?" Cloud asked in a desperate attempt to start a conversation.

"Yeah." He mumbled and started to walk toward the Small House. "I'm going to start dinner."

"Hah! You cook?" Cloud laughed. Leon gave him a look like he wanted to kill him and then devour his corpse.

"Shut it Cloud," Yuffie said defensively. "You don't know when to stop talking, do you?"

"Chillax," Aeris said. "You know what, I think we should go out tonight!" She started to get all excited. "I know! A new karaoke bar, called the 'Flashing Bulb' just opened up in the first district."

"Great!" Squall suddenly came bursting out of the house. "Now I don't have to cook!"

Everyone gave him a weird look.

"You are a very strange man," Cloud walked over and rested his hand on Squalls shoulder.

"Cloud, never touch me again."

"Okay."

And the very diversed group started their walk through the 2nd district, while trying to avoid the barrels being thrown at Cloud.

It was now about 10 pm, and Squall was drunk as a…well, drunken horse. The karaoke session had just started, and a really nerdy-looking guy named Hubert was signing 'Like a Virgin'. Yuffie was about to fall asleep on Leon's lap, and Aerith and Cloud had to keep pinching each other to keep them awake.

"I made it through the wilderness, I know I made throu-oo-oo-ough, I didn't know how lost I was until I …uhh, um, I don't know the rest."

Yuffie was snoring on Leon's shoulder, and he was laughing like a lunatic at nothing.

"That's it!" Cloud jumped onto the tiny stage and pushed Hubert off. He whispered something to the disc jockey, and grabbed the microphone. He took a deep breath and then started to sing.

"_There's a place off Ocean Avenue, where I used to sit and talk with you. We were both sixteen and it felt so right, sleeping all day staying all ni-iight…"_

Yuffie sat up abruptly. "Whoa. He rocks." She stared at the man on stage in amazement.

Aerith was just as shocked as Yuffie. Squall was still laughing his head off after chugging his 13th lager. Aerith whacked him upside his head to shut him up. "Ooow. Hahaha. Ya should goo nex, Aers," he mumbled. Then for some strange reason, her grabbed Yuffie and gave her a big, wet, long kiss right on her mouth. She went into a state of shock and Leon continued to laugh hysterically.

"_If I could find you now, things would get better.We could leave this town and run forever…"_

Everyone in the restaurant except for the drunken Leon and shocked Yuffie were dancing. "I love Yellowcard!" Aerith exclaimed and started to jump up and down.

When the song was over, Cloud was dragged off stage and attacked by a group of drunken teenage girls. Aerith had to threaten them with Leon's gunblade to make them go away. By this time, Squall was about to fall asleep and Yuffie was repetitively slapping him to wake him up so she could yell at him.

"I think we should go now," Aerith suggested after chasing away the mob of crazy fan girls. Everyone else agreed, except for Squall, who was being dragged by Cloud.

But no one noticed the two Silver Haired Men standing in the corner.

"I'll follow them, you wait and see if anyone in here knows who they are," the tall SHM asked the one with shorter hair.

"Sephiroth, I don't think that's a good idea…" the shorter man complained.

"Loz! Just listen for once, you little brat! It's a disgrace to know that I was cloned from the same super-human alien as you were," Sephiroth exclaimed.

"I'm not little…" Loz continued to whine.

"sigh fine! You can come with me," Sephiroth groaned.

The other SHM squealed with delight and clapped his hands together.

"Never do that again."

"Okay."

"Sora! Look at this!" Kairi motioned for the boy to come over to the kitchen table. She held out that morning's issue of "The Traverse Times" (creative name, isn't it/ )

"Ooh! Someone has puppies for sale!" Sora squealed and started to hop around.

"No! Not that!" Kairi slapped him upside the head and pointed to the ad next to it. "There's a new restaurant, with a karaoke bar. I think we should go tonight."

"NoOoOo!" Riku burst out of the bathroom in just a towel. "Have you ever heard Sora sing? He's deadly!"

"So are you, dude. Put on some clothes!" Sora shrank away and covered his eyes.

"It's going to be fun!" Kairi said. "Don't be such a party pooper."

Riku went back into the bathroom and put on a robe. Then he came out with a piece of paper and a pen. "Kairi, do you want my Star Wars action figure collection, or does Sora? No, I'll give Sora the action figures, and you my CD library…"

"What are you talking about, Riku?" Kairi stood up and grabbed the paper from his hands. "Your Will? It's not like you're going to die any time soon."

"I will when I hear Sora sing," Riku said and continued to write out his Will.

"I DON'T CARE! YOU'RE GOING, AND THAT'S FINAL!" Kairi exclaimed, as steam shot out of her ears.

The boys saluted her.

" _Yes ma'am!"_

_--------------_

_I just remembered how much I detest kairi. I bet one day she's going to become an evil dictator over her world, or Hollow Bastion or something._

_R&R please! It still makes me squeal with glee when I get those review emails so don't hesitate to critique! Thanks!_


	10. Chapter 10: Don't let him sing!

_Woo! Chapter 10! In honor of my 10th chapter, I'm going to have a pizza party! Or hand out We Love Riku merchandise to all of my friends at school. Anyway, I just thought up a bunch of ideas, so thanks to all of you (Tolea) who gave me ideas! Plus don't forget to request your favorite manga or anime characters! And if you've seen any other **new** fan fictions where you can request anime characters, **THEY STOLE MY IDEA! Grrr!** So if u sees one, please tell me. Enjoy! _

**Chapter 10: Don't let him sing!**

"NoOoOo!" Riku screamed in agony as Kairi dragged him toward the 'Flashing Bulb.'

"Chill out, Riku. I don't sing that badly," Sora said and pulled out a book of sheet music.

"Hmm, I think I'll sing 'Disco Hippie' first, then 'I'm a Little Tea Pot', and..."

"Watch out!" Kairi yelled just as Sora slammed into the wall right next to the door. "We're here!"

The smallish diner was packed with people, mostly drunk teenage girls. The man on stage singing karaoke had an awesome voice, but was being pelted with cookies that had the girls' phone numbers on them.

"Hey! That's Cloud!" Sora pointed to the guy on stage, which looked like he was going to collapse from fatigue.

Suddenly, a really tall man with long silver hair and sunglasses, who appeared to be _(appeared_, key word) the bouncer chased the crazy girls out.

Cloud jumped off stage and walked toward Riku, Sora, and Kairi. "Hey guys! This is awesome! They love me so much, I haven't left since last night!"

"Oooh! I wanna try!" Sora jumped on stage and took hold of the mike.

"NoOoOo! Take cover!" cried Riku as he dove under a table.

The music started to play.

"No, he isn't…"Kairi turned to Cloud with a frightened look on her face.

_"Rubber ducky, you're the oooone, you make bath time so much fuuuuun. Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of yooouu, bo-bo bo-di-oh…"_

"Oh. My. God." Cloud stared at the stage in awe. "What a retard. I'm surprised no one has gone up on stage and killed him yet."

When the song was over, everyone clapped and the next person went up on stage.

"Who is that? I can't see their face…" Kairi squinted at the woman on stage as she started to sing.

_"At first I was afraid I was petrified, Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side. But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong, and I grew strong and I learned how to get along…"_

"Wow! That's Aerith!" Cloud exclaimed. He was right, for once. Aerith was dancing around on stage having the time of her life.

_"I will survive, I will survive! As long as I've got love to give I know I'll stay alive…"_

"Whoa. She's better than you, Cloud." Sora commented.

"Shut up, rubber ducky boy," Cloud growled and punched Sora.

"She's awesome!" Riku finally came out from under the table.  
"Ahem!" Cloud was upset that Aerith was getting all the attention. She finished singing, and walked over to Cloud.

"Well! That was fun!" She exclaimed. "We should come here more often!"

"Nooo!" Cloud, Yuffie, and Riku all yelled at the same time.

"Well, technically, you didn't survive," Yuffie pointed out.

"Zip it, ninja. You're ruining my moment," Aerith growled.

"I still want ramen," Sora whined and started to pout.

"Geez, are you still crying about that?" Riku sighed. "That was from, like, chapter 3!"

"Do they have ramen here? Why don't you just get pizza or something," Kairi suggested.

"I want ramen! Ramen-ramen-ramen-ramen-ramen-ramen-ra-"  
"Okay! Chillax! We get it!" Yuffie complained and covered her ears.

" I always have this in case of an emergency," Riku pulled out if his pocket a small box of instant ramen. Sora tackled him then ran to the counter and demanded a cup of boiling water.

"Why do you want water, kid?" the bartender questioned.

Sora got mad and decided to have Cloud threaten her. "She won't give me water for my ramen!" Sora whined and dragged Cloud over to the bar.

"I just realized how wrong that sounded," Riku whispered to Kairi.

When Cloud got to the bar, he was speechless. The bartender was Tifa!

_Dum-dum dum-dum_

"T-tifa?" Cloud was surprised to see his childhood friend, and Aerith's rival.

"Cloud? Ohmigod! It's you!" Tifa exclaimed.

"Whoa, I'm lost," Sora scratched his head.

"Tifa is my friend from FF7." Cloud explained. "But I didn't know she worked in Traverse Town."

"We're in Ohio?" Sora questioned again.

"No! That's Traverse _City_."

"Oh."

"That kid asks a lot of questions," Tifa commented. "I see you're not with-"

She was cut off as Aerith walked over to Cloud. "What are you doing-WHAT! TIFA!" Aerith screamed.

"Heheh. Yeah, she kinda caught me by surprise, too." Cloud started to inch away. "If I were you, I'd leave. Fights between theses two can get per-itty nasty," he whispered to Sora. The 2 guys slowly snuck away while the girls created a scene. But then the drunken girls started to chase them again.

"Yuffie! Help! Throw your origami hearts or something!" Sora screamed at the girl ninja. "We're being chased by a mob of crazy fan girls!"

"Are they after Cloud?" Yuffie asked.

"No! They're chasing Sora! He sucked so badly they want to kill him for wasting valuable 'Strifey' time!" Cloud explained.

"Strifey time?" Aerith asked.

"Yeah. That's their nick name for me."

"RUUUUN!"

Cloud, Sora, Riku, Kairi, Aerith, and Yuffie ran all the way to the third district without stopping. When they got there, they met some unexpected guests.

"Heeeey! It's the FF 10 peoplz!"

Yuna, Rikku, and Paine were standing outside of the small house. They didn't look too happy, either. Especially Paine.

"Okay. Where's little shrimpy boy?" Paine started to search their group.

"Huh? Why?" Riku asked.

"Why! 'Cause i'm gonna give him some of this, and this," Rikku threatened and started to swing her fists.

"Oh" Sora crawled out from behind the flower pot where he was hiding. "It's them."

"Yes it's us! Now, why did we suddenly lose our dresspheres, then coincidentally see them for sale on eBay!" Yuna asked the boy. "By the username 'keyblade master 666'?"

"Oh, well...um, it's actually a funny story..." Sora stuttered.

The three girls continued to glare angrily at him.

"Spit it out!" Paine yelled, losing her patience.

Sora didnt notice that every one else was sneaking inside.

The girls lost their patience and chased Sora all around the third district. Suprisingly, he got away to the 2nd, and managed to lose them, which is pretty hard to do when there are 3 mad chicks chasing you. he jumped on top of the roof in the second districr and went through to hole back to the third. He made a mad dash for the house, lost his footing, fell of the roof and landed in the fountain, then fell backwards down the stairs, and ran right into the wall next to the door. By this time, he had plenty of bruises.

When Sora entered the Small house, he noticed no one was there. Except for a giant Behemoth from Hollow Bastion that wanted to kill him.

"HEEEELLLLPPP!"

_Heheheh. I just realized how stupid i made Sora. Well, in the little booklet it even says that he's 'simple minded.' Ohoho. Boy is that true! he's dumb as a stump!_

_Sora: Aheeeeem!_

_Oh stop whining! You know it's true! Well, anyway, look out for chappie 11! giant cookie out!_


	11. Chapter 11: It's just like Checkers!

_Yay! Chapter 11 is here. The next few chapters are gonna be chock full of anime characters and requests. I got a lot of requests for Fullmetal Alchemist, so I'll have that in the next chapter. Thanks for the reviews! Wahoo! I got 21! Also, to join the We Love Riku Fan Club (WLR), email me at Thanks for reading!_

_Disclaimer: you know, I really should just cut and paste, so I think I will!_

_**Disclaimer: do I really have to say it? I should just cut and paste from the other chaps…sigh fine! I don't own kh, or any of the anime characters in this chapter... yada-yada, u get the point, right?** Ha! I did it! I copied and pasted! In your face, Brad (my brother), who is standing right behind repeatedly saying 'it won't work'._

**Chapter 11: Just like checkers!**

After getting repeatedly pummeled by angry final fantasy characters, Kairi insisted that Sora stay in bed for a few days and heal. His injuries consisted of a sprained ankle, neck, and wrist, two broken fingers, a black eye, and plenty of cuts and bruises. In the end, he actually never gave everyone his or her things back.

"But, I want to go outsiiiide!" Sora whined.

"I told you! You can't. Unless you want to make those injuries worse." Kairi walked over to the bed carrying a bowl of hot soup.

"Eat this." She said and set it down on the nightstand.

Sora frowned and crossed his arms. "Noo! I want pizza!" he continued to carry on in a very childish tone.

"I'll watch him."

Sora looked up to see Riku standing in the doorway holding a very small table and two tiny pots.

"Thanks," Kairi sighed gratefully and exited the room.

"Sora, did you ever hear of the game called Go?" Riku asked and set down the tiny wooden table.

"Go? Five? I've heard of fifty-two pickup, but not Go," Sora replied and scratched his head.

_A/N: 'go' means five in Nihongo._

_A/A/N: Nihongo means Japanese in Japanese_.

"Ugh. No! I'm not referring to the number 5, it's a traditional Japanese game played with stones." Riku lifted the lids off of the tiny pots. One was filled with white stones, the other with black.

"Oh. Are you gonna teach me how to play?" Sora asked eagerly and clapped his hands.

"Sure. Okay. Since you're the less experienced player, you start with black stones." Riku explained and handed him the container.

"Uh, okay." He said and picked up one of the shiny stones. "Ooh. Pretty."

"Okay. Now, to start off, you can only place a stone on the spot where two lines intersect," Riku explained. "The crux of the game is to capture as many spaces possible. The spaces that belongs to you is your territory. Your opponent cannot place any of his stones in your territory. While building up your territory, you also want to prevent your opponent by capturing your opponents stones." Riku continued to tell about dead stones, captured stones, eyes, and so on. After about an hour or so of explaining, and some teaching games, Sora was convinced he was ready to play against Riku.

"Okay, if you're sure," Riku said and placed Sora's handicap stones on the board.

In just ten minutes, Sora had captured almost all of Riku's stones. Riku was utterly amazed, and Sora was just being his clueless stupid self. He picked one of his stones and moved across the board, jumping some of Riku's white stones. He slammed it down at the side near Riku.

"King me!" he shouted in triumph.

Riku sighed, stood up and walked over to the wall next to the door, and started to slam his head repetitively into the wall.

"Hey, are you okay?" Kairi was once again reading the newspaper when Riku stumbled down the stairs. "I heard a lot of banging."

"How can you stand that kid!" He exclaimed and pointed up the stairs. "He's a frickin retard! How could you date him, let alone kiss him, without strangling him!"

"This would be the perfect time to whisper 'PMS', but you're a boy, and it would be kinda wrong." Kairi commented.

"Riku! Are we going to finish our game?" Sora asked as he came down the stairs.

"No! Because you're a fricken jack-ass retard!" Riku exploded and grabbed the front of Sora's shirt, lifting him off the ground.

"Kairi! A little help!" Sora gasped.

"HIIIYAAAH!" Kairi screamed and whacked him over the head with a frying pan.

"Was that necessary?" Sora asked and brushed himself off. "You almost hit me."

Riku was now lying unconscious on the floor, and Kairi had gone back to reading the newspaper. Suddenly she started to jump up and down and shriek.

"Omigod omigod omigod! Hikaru Shindo is going to be competing in a go tournament right here! In Traverse Town!"

"So? I've never even heard of him," Sora was starting to get a little jealous.

"Ugh, Kairi, stop shrieking," Riku sat up and rubbed his sore head. "God. I feel like I got hit with a frying pan."

Sora and Kairi just looked at each other, trying to suppress their laughter.

"He's that stupid Go dude who talks to himself, right?" Sora asked and scratched his head.

"He does not talk to himself! I think…well, anyway, there's going to be a go tournament in Traverse Town!" She explained.

"I wanna enter!" Sora exclaimed proudly. "And I will!"

"Oh no you won't!" Riku shook his head. "You still think the game is the same thing as checkers!"

"I thought they were the same?" Kairi questioned.

Riku's face changed to a blank expression. Then he grabbed the frying pan and whacked himself on the head.

------------------------

_Weell, that's all. This wasn't a good chapter, but I'll be posting 12 soon! Peace out._


	12. Chapter 12: Partay!

_Yaaay! Its chappie 12! I'm running out of ideas, so the next few chapters may be a little dry. Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: why must I say it every single time? Blah blah blah. I don't KH or square of any of the anime characters in this chapter and I am in the process of plotting my attempt to overthrow the president of the square corporation. By the way, would n e one reading this happen to have an anti aircraft missile launching machine that I can borrow? LOL. Just kidding! Jk jk! _

**Chapter 12: PARTAY!**

"Sora, you don't even know how to play Go!" Riku exclaimed. "Why are you entering the tournament?"

"Hey, it also says that there's another tournament going on right now in Hollow Bastion, and next month there's gonna be one held in Halloween town." Kairi said.

"Are you okay Riku? You look kinda funny." Sora asked. Riku was grinning strangely, as if he was plotting something.

"No. I'm okay." He said.

"Sora, on the noticed pinned up on the bulletin board, it said preliminaries were being held in the Gizmo shop."

"I wonder how many people are entering?" Sora wondered.

The noise spoke for itself. When they got to the door leading to the 2nd district, the voices of people and music was so loud you couldn't hear yourself think!

"Oh…"

"let's just worry about making it to the preliminaries before you get all worked up about winning." Riku advised him. "I don't wanna see Sora cry…It's not pretty…So I'm going to go wait in the item shop."

"Okay!"" Sora was too busy staring at something on the ground. ('What?', you ask? I have no idea whatsoever. It's Sora! I mean, come on!)

"I won! Riku, I won!" Sora was jumping around like a three-year-old on a sugar high. Actually, deep down inside, he probably is.

"You didn't win, you just made it past the preliminaries." Kairi was trying to explain it to him. "Hey, where'd Riku go? He said he was waiting in the item shop."

There was a note sitting on the table in the item shop. It read:

**Hey. I went somewhere.**

**None of your business.**

_Riku_

"Well, that was polite!" Kairi growled sarcastically and crumpled up the paper.

"I bet he ran away 'cause he was sad that I entered and he didn't," Sora mocked.

"Well, you'd better get some sleep. The first round of the tournament is tomorrow." Kairi stated.

"'Kay."

Riku didn't come back until late that night. He snuck into the apartment, careful not to wake anyone up, and-

_Flu-sssssssssssshhh BOOM CRASH MoOoOoO Ka-BOOM!_

Riku winced.

"_Snoooorch." _Sora was fast asleep and snoring. Quietly, Riku snuck over to his chair and went to sleep.

"WAKEY WAKEY!"

"Aaaaugh!" Riku woke up to see the lovely cough _not_ coughface of Sora with a childish grin, jumping around screaming 'wakey wakey'.

"Will you shut up!" Riku growled.

"Somebody's grumpy."

"Of course I'm grumpy, Kairi. Sora is running around screaming at the crack of 8 AM!"

"I'm not Kairi."

Riku turned around, and sure enough, Sora was hopping in circles around Yuffie and Squall. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We were bored. And Cloud is um…_busy_." Yuffie explained.

"Ah! That's better!" A voice came from the bathroom, followed by the flushing of a toilet. Cloud walked out of the bathroom folding a newspaper. "Stupid Preparation H cream!"

"What? Why is everybody looking at me?"

"Ew."

"I have to go to the tournament! Kairi! Let's go!" Sora cried.

Kairi was still searching for the paper.

"Kairi, I don't think you want it now." Yuffie said and pointed toward Cloud standing in the bathroom doorway looking bewildered.

"I don't. Come on Sora. Let's get going."

The two walked out of the door toward the second district.

"I have to go, too." Riku said and walked out the door.

"Oh well. I guess it's just us." Cloud said to Leon and Yuffie.

Suddenly, a moogle walked out of the closet.

"Yo-yo-yo. What up, ya'll? Ya here for da PARTAY!" The moogle was wearing a medallion and a bandana was tied around its head.

"I think that moogle thinks it's black," Yuffie whispered to Squall.

_A/N: I don't mean to offend any African American people reading this fanfic._

"Yeah. Let's go." Cloud, Yuffie, and Squall left Sora's apartment and headed for the tournament.

When Sora and Kairi got to the Gizmo Shop, where the tournament was being held, Sora immediately ran over to admire the giant Go board on the wall behind the tables.

"What's this for?" He asked Kairi.

"It's so the people in the audience can see each move that the players make." She said. "Someone usually uses a pole to stick the pieces on the giant board, and another person shouts out the coordinates of each move."

"Well then, where's the people who are in charge of it?"

"We're heeeeere!"

Sora turned around to the entrance where a blond guy in a cloak, and with what looked like a metal arm, kicked open the door dramatically. Behind followed a walking suit of armor.

"Excuse me, kid. I need to get to the giant board." Theboy said and looked down at Sora, who was staring at the metal person.

"Don't stare, Sora. It's rude." Kairi whispered to Sora and elbowed him in the side.

"Nah, it's okay. He gets it a lot." The blonde guy said, motioning to the suit of armor.

"I'm Alphonse," The suit of armor said in an echoey voice and held out his hand for Sora to shake. "And this is my big brother Edward."

Sora just looked at the armor's hand, then at Al, then at Ed, then back at Al's hand. Then he burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter and started rolling around on the floor. "Hahahahaha! It's a little kid's voice in a- Hahaha- huge metal body! HAHAHAHA!"  
"Shut up, Sora!" Kairi whacked him on the head and he quickly composed himself. "So, how are you gonna run the giant Go board?"

"Like this!" Ed said. He jumped into the air and clapped his hands together. Then he landed on one knee, and a metal pole came out of the ground.

"Kawl!" Sora jumped up and down. "That's awesome!"

Ed climbed on top of Al's shoulders. "He'll call out the coordinates to me."

"Oooh."

Then, a voice came over the loudspeaker.

"_Attention to all competitors. The Traverse Town Go Tournament with begin in 15 minutes. Please report to your designated stations."_

"Gotta Go!" Sora laughed at his own pun. "You know! Go as in leave- the Go tournament- you know…oh, never mind!" He said and headed toward the door.

I don't feel like mentioning every opponent that Sora played against, because it would take forever for me to describe 63 Go matches, so I'll just tell you that Sora beat every one of his competitors, including Hikaru Shindo, who then went into a negative slump, because even using his secret weapon (Sai), he still lost.

When Sora finished with his semi-finals match, he looked on the poster with the list of people competing in each match. Strangely, there was no one listed to compete against Sora in the final match.

As soon as he took his seat at the table with the Go board on it, the announcer came on to the loudspeaker.

"_The final match is about to begin. Competitors, please enter at this time."_

Sora turned around to see his opponent enter. The door swung open, and in walked….

RIKU?


	13. Chapter 13: Oh, muffin!

_Yay! I'm back with chapter 13! I'm soooo sorry, it's been taking forever to post these past few chapters. They've redone the website, or something, and I've been having trouble adding new chapters._

_Disclaimer: Mwhahahaha! Copy and paste!_

**Disclaimer: why must I say it every single time? Blah blah blah. I don't own KH or square of any of the anime characters in this chapter and I am in the process of plotting my attempt to overthrow the president of the square corporation. By the way, would n e one reading this happen to have an anti aircraft missile launching machine that I can borrow? LOL. Just kidding! Jk jk! **

**Chapter 13: Oh, muffin!**

Previously…

Sora had decided to enter a local Go tournament. Riku felt it was too early for him, because Sora had absolutely no idea of how to play Go. Riku became upset, and while Sora plowed through the competition, Riku had gone off somewhere, leaving early and coming back late at night. Sora made it to the finals, by dumb luck, and luck only. When he turned to face his opponent, he finds that it is his friend, Riku. And that's where this chapter continues…

"Riku?" Sora stood up from his chair. "You're my opponent?"

"That's right. After I found out that there was a tournament in Halloween Town, I flew over to check it out. This is one of those combined tournaments, where a finalist from each town competes against each other. I kinda had a feeling that it would be you." Riku explained. "So, what are we waiting for?" He pulled out his chair and sat down.

Oh, muffins! Sora thought to himself. Now I have to play against Riku! He's the one who tried to teach me in the first place!

Riku already knew all of Sora's tricks and what he was capable of, aka nothing.

I don't feel like describing everything that happened, and every move that each person made, so I'll just tell you that Sora lost, bad. Really bad. Horribly. He lost when he tried to move one of his stones and yelled, "King me!" Yes, he is an idiot.

After the match, Sora was devastated.

"I can't believe I lost!"

"I can," Kairi laughed.

"Thanks for the support." Sora said sarcastically.

"You wouldn't have won even if I didn't enter the tournament." Riku stated, as he attempted to drag his solid gold, 4 foot-high, trophy. "You only got this far by pure dumb luck."

"He's right, Sora. You don't even know how to use the ladder technique." Kairi stated.

"Huh? What ladder?" Sora asked, puzzled.

"Exactly!" Kairi exclaimed and waved her hand.

_A/N: Oh my fricking goddess! Right now, as I'm typing this fanfic, I am reading Anime Insider July Issue, where it says Tokyopop is going to publish a Kingdom Hearts Manga this fall! Omigod omigod omigod! EeEeEeEe!_

"What! I have my own manga? Cool!" Sora exclaimed. "Let's go back to the apartment."

"Riku, where are you going to put that trophy," Kairi asked. "Riku?"

The two kids turned around, just to be sucked into another black swirling vortex.

"Hey, look at this!" Cloud motioned for Squall to come over to the kitchen table. "I just read in this months issue of Anime Insider that there's going to be a Kingdom Hearts Manga."

_A/N: I don't own anime insider._

_A/A/N: There seriously is going to be a KH manga. I'm not kidding. Read the magazine if you don't believe me._

"Huh, cool. But that doesn't mean that we're going to be in it." Leon pointed out.

"Why wouldn't we? We're important to the storyline of the game!" Cloud said.

"I am." Squall corrected. "Without me, Sora would have never known about the whole Keyblade scenario. You just pop up in the Coliseum."

"Hey! I have a wing!" Cloud cried.

The two guys started to argue over who was more important.

"I'm the one who tells him about the Keyblade!"

"I have a wing!"

"I fight him with the gunblade!"

"I have a wing!"

"I don't care if you have a wing!"

"Will you guys shut up?"

The two men turned to the stairs, where a very angry Aeris in a facial mask and two cucumbers over her eyes, was standing.

"Is it possible to get any peace and quiet around here!"

"No."

Yuffie entered through the front door of the Small house and grabbed Cloud's Anime magazine.

"Hey, cool. There's gonna be a-"

"WE KNOW!" everyone yelled at once.

"Well, I have to go back to Loch Ness. If Nessie gets too hungry, she'll start to eat all the townspeople." Cloud said. He stood up and grabbed his bag, then headed for Leon's room.

"Why are you going in my room?" Squall asked.

"I need to use the black hole in your closet."

"Okay. Bye...wait! I have a black hole in my closet!"

---------------

_Yes, that's it. It's a very short chapter. Deal with it. But there's gonna be a KH manga! WOO-HOO! Bye!_

_A/N: For some strange reason, my friend thinks that the line thingys (_-----_) look like turtles...watever. she's weird anyway. like me ! YAY!_


	14. Chapter 14: There's no place like home!

_Yo! I'm back! And to everyone reading this: I love u all! Thanks for reading and reviewing! You did review, right?…REVIEW OR DIE! Heheh, ;;; ;;; Thanks so much for reading my fanfic. I want to thank u all, seriously. And please review! (OR DIE) It makes me really happy to get that email, that's why I review for every story that I can. This may be one of the last chapters, so please enjoy! (And review!)_

**Chapter 14: There's no place like home!**

"Guys! Are you there?" Sora called out into the darkness. Yes, once again, Sora and his friends had gotten themselves sucked into a black hole. They had no idea where they were going, how long it was going to take, and to top it all off, they could barely see or hear each other.

Riku lifted up his arm and pushed the button on his watch that turned on a small light so he could see the watch. The hands had stopped.

_I guess when you're in a black hole, time stops, _He thought to himself.

Suddenly, the hands on the clock started to spin wildly.

"Guys! Something's wrong with my watch!" Riku screamed. But his voice was drowned out by the strange whirring sound. He felt light-headed. He started to get dizzy, like he was spinning in speeding circles, like his watch hands. Then, he fainted.

----------------

"I like cheese…" Sora mumbled, half awake. He felt like a truck hit him.

"Hey! You're finally back!"

Sora sat up, to see Wakka standing by the secret place, bouncing his blitzball.

"Heya, Wakka! What's up?" Sora sat up and tiredly rubbed his eyes.

"Oh, nothing much. Selphie's been chasing Tidus around the cove, trying to comb his hair, and Kyle was doing something in your room this morning.

"What!"

Kyle was Sora's younger brother. He was 11 years old, and at his annoying peak. Lately, he'd been trying to get into all of Sora's things, and bugged him about stupid stuff.

"Ya, I was heading for Tidus' house, and I saw him through the window digging under your bed," Wakka explained and spun the blitzball on his finger.

"I'm gonna kill him!" Sora growled.

"He's not here today, though. He left with your dad to go fishing in your cabin for the weekend."

"What? You just said you saw him in my room this morning." Sora asked glared suspiciously at Wakka.

"Oh, I, um, probably saw him the day before, then. On Friday. He left on Saturday and your parents said he wouldn't be back until, uh, Monday evening. That's because he said, um, he left for the weekend. The weekend being from Friday to Monday and…" Wakka stuttered.

"Yeah, I get the point." Sora said and stood up. "I'm gonna head home."

He headed across the beach to his shack.

"Hello? Is anybody here?" Sora stepped into the backroom, and nearly killed himself. He picked himself up off the floor, and slipped again. _Since when did mom start waxing the floors?_ Carefully, he made his way into the kitchen. "Geez, I'm hungry. I guess traveling between dimensions really builds up and appetite." He strolled over to the cabinets and opened up the door, to see nothing but empty shelves! "Hey, where's all the food!" Panicking, he ran to the fridge, to find it empty, as was the pantry and all of the other cabinets normally packed to the brim with sugary cereal, potato chips and packs of instant Ramen.

"I'm going to starve!" Sora cried and flew threw the house. He ran down the hall into the living room. "Where is everybody?"

"Hey, Sora."

"Augh!" Caught by surprise, Sora spun around, to see none other than Cloud Strife sitting in a recliner, flipping through channels, and surrounded by piles and piles of food.

"Cloud, what are you doing here?" Sora scratched his head.

"Oh, your mom called me." He said between shoving handfuls of Doritos in his mouth. "Go check the answering machine, there are some messages for you."  
Sora gave Cloud a suspicious look, then walked over to the answering machine on the kitchen counter.

_You have 4 new messages. BEEEEEEEEEP- "Hi Sora, its mommy. We called to let you know that we went to the cabin at Lake WannaHakkaLugie for the weekend. When you get back from Loch Ness, make sure you take a shower and change your undies and brush you teeth. We'll see you in a few days. Buh-bye!" BEEEEEEEEEP-"Hey, Sora. It's Cloud. I got your message and I'll be over in like, half and hour. Wait, hold on…" _(Sora hears the phone being set down on the table and Cloud talking to someone.) "_Squall! How long is half of an hour…Okay, thanks- Wait I'm not an idiot! It's not my fault I failed cutting in kindergarten…dude, I'm on the phone! Could you not be so loud…"BEEEEEEEEEP-"Hi Sora, it's mommy again. I called to tell you I invited your friend from school, um, Claudius over. So play nice, no throwing things, and I don't want to find the refrigerator empty when I get home, okay? I love you, be a good boy!"-BEEEEEEEEEP- End of messages._

"Well, now I know that my family hasn't disappeared off the face of the earth." Sora said to Cloud, who was paying no attention to him, laughing and pointing at a clown on TV that fell off a building and into a swimming pool full of whipped cream.

"Idiot."

----------------

"Hey, I wonder what happened to Sora?" Riku thought out loud. When they landed, they were all separated, and Riku had no idea where or when Sora and Kairi were. Then again, Kairi did earn all 13 editions of the Wilderness badges in girl scouts, and Sora could probably use the homing chip his mom implanted in his butt.

"Crap, it's so dark I can't even find my way home," Riku complained. This darkness reminded him about the night when Ansem came to their island and overtook it with…. _Darkness_. _dum dum dum_ Suddenly, he felt an overwhelming urge to run home, screaming about darkness. But even the slightest hint that you were afraid of them, would send the She-Heartless' after you, and Riku didn't want to deal with that humiliation again.

(A/N: The She-Heartless' are from chapter 8 when Riku gets turned into a girl. If you haven't read it, you're missing something absolutely hilarious!)

All of a sudden, the wind picked up and started to make the palm trees sway, creating eerie shadows on the beach.

"RIIIIIKUUUU…"

"Huh! What was that!" Riku whirled around.

"IT IS MEEEE, AAANSEEEEM…"

"AUGH! THE DARKNESS IS BACK! IT'S GONNA GET MEEEEE!" Riku cried. He started running and screaming for his life, and ran into the cliff side, being knocked unconscious.

----------------

"Let's watch a new show."

"Yeah, how about Teen Titans?"

"That's stupid! Let's watch Sailor Moon!"

"What?" Cloud cried. "Is that old-school anime even on anymore?"

"Yeah, on Anime Network." Sora explained and grabbed the remote.

"No! We're watching Teen Titans!" Cloud whined and threw a handful of Chips Ahoy at Sora.

"Teen Titans!"

"Sailor Moon!"

"Teen Titans!"

"Sailor Moon!" Sora got an idea. "Cloud," He said with a frightening grin. "But Sailor Moon has girls in short skirts."

"Ew! Pervert!" Cloud screamed and jumped up on the chair. He pointed at Sora and started bouncing up and down. "Pervert-pervert-pervert-pervert-pervert-pervert-pervert-pervert!"

"You are sooooo immature!" Sora crossed his arms and held his chin up high.

"Look who's talking, mister 'Wear clean undies'!" Cloud squealed and stuck out his tongue.

"Your so annoying! I'm going over Tidus' to play Super Smash Brothers Melee."

"Oh! I wanna come!" Cloud jumped up out of his chair. "But don't you have that game in your room?"

"I also have you in my room," Sora sighed and walked out the front door.

"Hahaha…wait, I don't get it."

--------------------

"Dude, is it just me, or did this island change?" Sora scratched his head. "And since when do birds hover in one place?"

"CUT! And that's a wrap!"

"Augh! What was that!" Sora whirled around.

Just then, about 15 guys wearing black hats and shirts embellished with the word 'Stage Crew' on the front walked onto the beach from a door in the cliff.

"What in the anime crap!"

_(A/n: haha! That's my phrase! 'anime crap'. **USE IT AND DIE**)_

They started to wheel away the trees and cliff sides like pieces of scenery. Two of the men started to pull a large rope, which rolled up the background, or 'ocean', like a curtain, revealing a studio with multiple dressing rooms, offices, and Ansem sitting in a directors chair writing on a clipboard. Kairi pointed to something on the paper, Ansem shook his head, crumpled it up and threw it away.

"Watch out, Kairi!" Sora drew out his weapon and charged at his former foe.

"No! Sora!" Kairi cried and waved her arms.

"Oh my gosh!" Ansem yelled and fell backwards in the chair.

"What's going on here? Let Kairi go!" Sora continued to swing his Keyblade at the man cowering in a fetal position in a corner of the room.

"Sora, stop! He's just directing a movie!" Kairi cried and whacked him on the head.

"Huh? Then how come I didn't know about it?" Sora looked confused.

"Well, we knew you wouldn't go for it, so we just…didn't tell you." Ansem shrugged.

"I'm the star of my own movie and I didn't know?" Sora cried. "And my worst enemy is the director?"

"Basically," Riku answered and set down a box of donuts on the table. "Who wants donuts?"

"Argh!" Sora screamed, caught by surprise, and swung his Keyblade behind him, sending Riku and the box of donuts flying.

"Oh no! You smushed the Boston cream!" Riku yelled and covered his face with his hands.

"Oops…that's gonna leave an ultra bruise," Sora scratched his in embarrassed.

--------------

"Hello, _brother."_

"What was that?" Sephiroth turned around, to see three dark shapes moving out of the shadows.

"Hello? Who's there!"

"_Brother…" _One of the people started to chant.

"Loz? Kadaj? Yazoo?" Sephiroth started to back away.

"One of us…one of us…one of us…" 

"Stay away!" Sephiroth cried, and un-sheathed his unnecessarily long sword.

"ONE OF US…ONE OF US…"

"One of we…" Kadaj blurted accidentally.

"No! We've rehearsed this a million times!" Loz cried and flung his hands to his head.

"Actually, it was a million and three," Yazoo corrected.

"I know!"

"Never mind then."

"The children are gonna die anyway!" Kadaj stated.

"But if they're going to die, then why make a movie about it!" Yazoo cried. "Obviously Cloud saves them!"

_A/N: this 'movie' and the clones (Loz, Yazoo, Kadaj) and the children are all from Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children._

"I quit!" Kadaj yelled.

"What?"

"I quit being…evil, or whatever it is that we do!" Kadaj stomped over to Sephiroth's side. "I'm going with Sephy."

"But he's evil too." Loz stated and crossed his arms in triumph.

"Oh…whatever! But you yelled at me." Kadaj frowned.

"And what are you going to do about it?" Loz smirked.

Sephy smirked. "One…"

"Don't you dare!" Loz stabbed and accusing finger at the other two.

"…Of…" Kadaj joined in.

"I said no!"

"…**_We_**."

"NOOO!" Loz cried and started to bash his head into the wall.

"Hahaha! Lunatic…" Yazoo laughed and pointed at his fellow clone.

"D'ya wanna help me burn Traverse Town?" Sephy asked Kadaj as they walked away.

"Sure………What's 'Traverse Town'?"

-----------  
_And that's the end. Not of the story, of chappie 14. FINALLY! Advent Childrenhas been released!I've seena lotof the trailersand screens. Review! OR DIE!_


	15. Chapter 15: The end?

Woot! I am back, to bring you the long awaited chapter 15. Sorry it took so long. I've been busy having no life. And I kinda forgot. ; Read on!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom hearts or Squaresoft…yet. The key word is 'yet'. I still need that grenade launcher…

**Chapter 15: The end?**

"No! I will not stand for this!" Ansem cried and threw his clipboard across the room. "Their outfits must be _Lavender_; Not purple, not violet, LAVENDER!"

"Well, you know what?" Riku tossed the sewing supplies over his shoulder. "I don't give a crap! Because I quit!" The aggravated bishonen stormed out of the room.

"No you don't! 'Cause I'm firing you!" Ansem waved an angry fist.

"Just let it go." Kairi sighed. "He'll be back."

Riku had been making the costumes for Ansem's movie, and they weren't exactly getting along. At all. They were constantly at each other's necks, and everybody else was getting fed up.

"Hey," Sora tapped Ansem on the shoulder. "What's wrong with Wakka?"

He pointed to the other side of the room where some guy in a blue hat and a toolbox was poking at a strangely twitching and sparking Wakka with a screwdriver.

"Oh, that?" Ansem folded his arms across his chest. "He didn't like the roll I asked him to play."

"You mean himself?"

"Yeah. He said I didn't 'completely capture his creativeness and artistic abilities.'" Ansem scribbled something down on his clipboard.

"What?" Sora asked, confused.

"Exactly. So we replaced him with a creation that I like to call, 'Wakka-Bot'."

"It's a Wakka robot? That's just creepy." Sora looked back to where the mechanic was taking apart Wakka's face.

"That's exactly what my mother said."

Sora gave him an incredulous look before joining Kairi and Cloud in front of Leon's portable television, with a screen that was four inches wide.

"Watcha watching?" Sora peered over their shoulders.

"Shush!" Cloud flicked Sora's ear.

A commercial came on. "We're watching Sailor Moon." Kairi answered.

"That's a really small TV." Sora stated.

"Thanks. We hadn't noticed that." Kairi put her hands on her hips.

"Your welcome." Sora gave a goofy smile, not sensing her sarcasm.

"YO-YO-YO! Wat-up, home dawgs?"

Everybody turned to the doors, where Donald and Goofy had just entered.

"You did not just say that…" Leon sweat dropped.

"Yes I did." Donald stormed over to where Kairi and Cloud were completely engrossed in watching anime girls in really short skirts kiss ass on a ridiculously small television.

"These are mine!" He grabbed from them a bag of potato chips.

"Hey," Cloud pouted. "What are we supposed to eat now?"

Riku burst through the doors just after Donald and Goofy left.

"I have come bearing doughnuts!" He cried and held up a large box labeled Krispy Kreme.

"I thought you quit?" Squall asked.

"Yeah, I did. But I decided to bring you all doughnuts." Riku dropped the box just before Sora pounced on it. "I'm so kind hearted."

"Ooh! Did you get Boston Crème?" Ansem tried to get a good look at the pastries before Sora devoured them all.

"None for you!" Riku pushed him away. "Only my friends are allowed."

"You don't talk to the Sound Crew." Ansem motioned toward the group of men holding microphones and other sound equipment munching on doughnuts.

"Yes I do. Don't assume." Riku stated.

Sora glanced down at the watch on his wrist that he just recently noticed he had.

"We have to go, Kairi, Riku. I have to be home by seven."

"Sora, did you forget?" Kairi waved her hand. "This isn't really home. It's just the set."

"Of course I know." Sora laughed. "I meant to go back to the Destiny Islands."

"But we can't." Riku said. "Remember? We got sucked into that black hole under your bed. We don't know how to get home."

"I do."

There was a moment of complete silence. Even the construction crews and makeup artists stopped what they were doing.

"What…did…you…say?" Kairi asked slowly. "Did you just say…"

"You could have just asked." Sora shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't know you wanted to go home."

"OH MY GOD!" Riku cried. Immediately, he was at Sora's throat. He lifted up the shorter boy by his shirt collar until he was at eye level.

"You knew how to get home the whole time!"

"Yup."

"Dammit!" Riku yelled and shook Sora roughly. "You little bastard! I'm gonna kill you-"

"Riku! Down, boy!"

Riku fell silent with unconsciousness. Kairi lowered her cooking pot and helped Sora off of the ground.

"How do we get home?" She asked Sora as calmly as she could.

"Through that door." Sora pointed to a very average looking black door.

"There's a portal that leads back to my room."

They each put one of Riku's limp arms on their shoulders, and drug him to the entrance of the black hole.

"Goodbye, everybody!"

They all waved farewell to their friends and memories that would last them a lifetime. And that would give them a good four months of teasing.

------------

The three of them jumped out of the void into Sora's room. By this time Riku had regained consciousness.

"So, it's all over, huh?" Riku sighed happily.

"Yup." Sora nodded.

"Well, what do we do now?" Kairi asked.

"Let's eat some ramen!" Sora exclaimed and ran into the kitchen.

"What! Who are you?"

Kairi and Riku followed him into the small eat-in kitchen, where four silver-haired men were slurping large bowls of ramen.

"That's my ramen!" He cried and lunged at Loz, who lifted the bowl just out of his reach.

"Why are you guys here?" Riku asked.

"We were trying to get to Traverse Town." Sephiroth started.

"But we got lost." Yazoo added.

"So we decided to stop by to say hello. When you weren't here, we decided to eat your ramen." Loz finished and slurped another clump of noodles.

"How did you guys know where I live?" Sora demanded.

"I don't know…" Sephiroth scratched his head.

"SORA! Sasquatch is hungry!" A voice came from upstairs.

"Okay!" Sora yelled back. He opened the fridge and pulled out an insanely large piece of raw meat. "I'm coming!"

Kairi and Riku exchanged bewildered looks as they followed him up the stairs. When Sora reached his room, his little brother was standing beside an open closet door, with a large swirling void inside.

"What the…"

Sora hurled the huge piece of raw steak into it and closed the door after receiving a satisfied roar.

"So…Sasquatch is in your closet, and Nessie is under your bed?" Kairi gave Sora an incredulous look.

"Yup." He turned to his little brother. "Why were you in my room, anyway?"

"I was trying to do my homework," Kyle started. "And I couldn't finish my long division with him roaring."

"Meh! Long division is _nothing_ compared to solving quadratic equations with multiple variables!" Riku scoffed.

Kyle raised an eyebrow. "I have no idea what you just said."

"Neither did I." Sora turned and headed for the stairs. "Let's go see if there's still some ramen left."  
Kairi and Riku followed him.

"You coming?" Riku stuck his head back in.

"Yeah," Kyle studied the closet door. "I'll be right there…" 

After a few seconds, he checked to make sure they were all downstairs. Then, ever so slowly, he opened the closet door…

_**THE END**_


End file.
